Oh The Humiliation…

Many of my fans enjoy reading about my masturbation mishaps and laughing at the embarrassing fixes I’ve gotten into, or nearly gotten into. I do not drive, I never learned. I tried in my teens and it didn’t work out. My mom no longer drives, so getting supplies has been a problem since she had to give up driving a few years ago. We get groceries delivered, and I found a couple of years ago a wonderful online store for toiletries called Well.ca. I have on my “Gift Me” a link for there in case anyone is nice enough to get me a gift certificate there, since I use it regularly. Well normally delivery is not an issue, and the box of goods is left right outside our door.

It must have been a new delivery person, since this last time the box wasn’t outside the door. An email had been sent that it had been shipped, so when it didn’t show, we wondered what had happened. Two days later my mom was outside and noticed a box not in front of any of the doors, but on the lawn and it has been rained on for the last 48 hours. Not knowing what was inside and being concerned it had been damaged by the rain, my mom opened the box to make sure everything was ok. I had ordered some candy, shampoo, spray on deodorant, and one other item-a bottle of lube.

Now my mom made a point of telling me the candy, shampoo, can of deodorant and the box of Wet Synergy lube was all just fine, no harm done. Being the sarcastic sort that my mom is, I’m guessing it was hard for her to hold her tongue and not make some embarrassing comment about it, seeing as she’d know it was just for my own alone use, since I don’t have anyone in my life. She managed though, so I’m grateful for that at least. A few months before when she’d been upstairs on a short visit to see my cats, she asked what the black bottle was on the side of my dresser near the edge of the bed, I just replied it was nothing, and luckily she didn’t pick up the bottle to further read what it contained.

So for those of you reading this, and laughing, I wonder how you’d react if your mom handed you a dry grocery bag with the dried off items from the waterlogged box including a bottle of lube for your “private time”. (Thank you inept morons from Purolator Courier.) Now she’s not your average mom, she’s pretty with it and liberal. She’s the one that came up with the name “ClimaxConnection” for my website, and has shown me the ostrich feather duster she and her boyfriend use “for fun”, and her warming lube and how much she liked it, but I do not need such unnecessary embarrassments to be sure.